Eating Contests...PLEASE STOP!

I can only imagine the physical endurance it must take to wolf down 53 hot dogs as fast as the laws of physics will allow.  Similarly, I once watched a man hammer a nail up his nose in a side-show act.  Both of these feats are amazing carnival acts, except speed eating makes considerably more people nauseous.
So unless your kind of sports entertainment is watching a program that makes you vomit, then it's safe to say that speed eating is not a sport.
 Let me make this clear, rigorous overeating is a disorder, not a sport. 
Takeru Kobayashi, 6 time winner of Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest is an unfair example of this disgusting activity.  Kobayashi is a somehow slender person with an amazing ability to pack away truckloads of hot dogs in the time of a sneeze.  That's because Takeru Kobayashi is a product of cold war era research.  Japanese engineers in the 1980's replaced his internal organs with a fusion reactor.  The experiment was an attempt to sustain human life without food.  The result was quite the opposite.

 Some of these reports have been rumored to be false, regardless, the remarkable abilities of one individual does not warrant the broadcast of this disgusting racket.  Although Kobayashi could be considered the 'Steve Austin of Hot Dogs', this achievement will never earn him an Olympic gold medal.  Eating contests might even make Curling seem tolerable if not a popular sleep aid.