Eating Contests...PLEASE STOP!

I can only imagine the physical endurance it must take to wolf down 53 hot dogs as fast as the laws of physics will allow.  Similarly, I once watched a man hammer a nail up his nose in a side-show act.  Both of these feats are amazing carnival acts, except speed eating makes considerably more people nauseous.
So unless your kind of sports entertainment is watching a program that makes you vomit, then it's safe to say that speed eating is not a sport.
 Let me make this clear, rigorous overeating is a disorder, not a sport. 
Takeru Kobayashi, 6 time winner of Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest is an unfair example of this disgusting activity.  Kobayashi is a somehow slender person with an amazing ability to pack away truckloads of hot dogs in the time of a sneeze.  That's because Takeru Kobayashi is a product of cold war era research.  Japanese engineers in the 1980's replaced his internal organs with a fusion reactor.  The experiment was an attempt to sustain human life without food.  The result was quite the opposite.

 Some of these reports have been rumored to be false, regardless, the remarkable abilities of one individual does not warrant the broadcast of this disgusting racket.  Although Kobayashi could be considered the 'Steve Austin of Hot Dogs', this achievement will never earn him an Olympic gold medal.  Eating contests might even make Curling seem tolerable if not a popular sleep aid.
 

Rest in peace Merlin Olsen

SALT LAKE CITY (AP)

Merlin Olsen, a Hall of Fame defensive lineman and member of the Los Angeles Rams' "Fearsome Foursome" who followed up football with a successful television career in "Little House on the Prairie," NFL broadcasts and commercials, has died. He was 69.
The 'Is it a sport?' team expresses it's remorse in regards to the passing of this legend.  Going forward, we will honor certain individuals from time to time who demonstrate similar dynamics to the late Merlin Olsen with a 'Merlin' award.  This will serve as a positive function to our otherwise often cynical blog.
Our condolences to the family and friends of Merlin Olsen.

The Pro Bowl, WHY?!!

This is a new twist compared to our past research into the world of mundane sports.  First, let me explain that we the 'Is it a sport?' team recognize American football as a true spectator sport.  It delivers dynamic, bone-crushing athleticism with a hint of courtroom drama (coach's challenge etc...).  However, even very impressive spectator sports have shortcomings.  In this case, let's discuss the NFL's Pro Bowl.
The Pro Bowl is an event where both conferences invite their elite players from various teams to play each other in Hawaii.  The game's outcome has no bearing on anything relevant (aside from injuring more players right before the Superbowl).  Essentially, the Pro Bowl is a big NFL picnic in Hawaii that is broadcast to the general public who doesn't really care.
Let's face it, there's little incentive for the players to 'give it there all' in this event aside from a Pro Bowl MVP award (I equate this to my perfect attendance award in high school.  No, I didn't receive any kind of scholarship, but I did get a free sundae at the local ice cream parlor.  Still makes me angry, but that's for another blog).
I'm sure the NFL enjoys itself on this big televised vacation in Hawaii.  Amy Winehouse enjoys boozing until she has to go to rehab (or prison), but that doesn't mean I have to watch it, especially when I've heard enough about it in the form of song.
Could there possibly be a better replacement for the broadcast of the Pro Bowl?  Undisclosed sources* suggest a breakthrough solution: Have the worst AFC team play against the worst NFC team for the glory of a first round draft pick.  Now there's an event that people can believe in, not to mention it could potentially boost the Vegas economic index.  Imagine, two teams scrapping for the chance to recruit a hero who'll save them next season!  This could also help promote smaller market teams while benefiting the franchise as a whole.
Would it be called the 'Stupor Bowl'?   Perhaps the 'Empty Bowl'?  Would it also be held in Hawaii? I don't know, the point is, many people enjoy watching NFL events so why spoil it with something as trivial as the Pro Bowl?  Oh yeah, don't get comfy over there NBA, you and other organizations with your All-Star games and the like are just as guilty.

*Undisclosed sources: a term used by FOX News to explain that their information is complete bullshit

Curling, A 2010 Olympic Retrospective

I hate Curling. I think it's the dumbest thing on ice. Maybe it's fun to play, I sure don't know. All I know is that because I live east of the Atlantic and speak English, I'm confined to the Olympics coverage of the BBC which means, you guessed it: CURLING. Who won figure skating? I don't know, all they played was curling. Skiing? Beats me, there was too much curling on.

Curling resembles shuffleboard on ice, with a life-size board and big stones that are sent sailing across the ice to try and hit the target as many times as possible and stay there. The team is made up of the main shuffler person (I don't know the official name of the position and quite frankly I don't care enough about this game to go doing research about it) and minions that have to chase the stone down with brooms to sweep the ice and make the stone go more exactly where they want it. I wonder every time I see this if the sweeping actually even makes a difference or just provides enough physical exertion for people to contend that it's actually a sport. Curling seems to go on for hours, or maybe that's just the coverage. I think the game was started in Scotland because they all seem to have Scottish accents. Well no offense to the Scots, but the game sucks to watch.

And every time a skiier tumbles down a hill, or a skater falls on the ice, or those poor cross-country skiiers have to jog UP a hill with skis attached to their feet to try and cross the finish line first for the coveted gold medal, I wonder if they think: "Damn, and to think I could get the same medal for hanging out on the ice in a track suit and tacky shoes watching a stone."

Curling=NOT A SPORT.

A closer look at Cornhole

It's a growing popular pastime in North America.  No, not passing out at baseball games, I'm talking about Cornhole!  (or 'bean toss' for the more family oriented enthusiast)
Cornhole is a game where opponents, standing side by side, try to toss a bag full of corn kernels (or just a bean bag) onto the inclined plank opposite of them, or preferably, through the hole. The other team members are opposite of them trying to do the same.(see visual aid)  Here's a link explaining the full rules:
http://www.playcornhole.org/rules.shtml

Not a whole lot of athleticism here; and as far as it's appeal to spectators, it's considerably more entertaining when the opponents are wasted.  This might explain it's popularity at various social gatherings such as frat parties, family barbecues, hippie festivals, and dive bars.
If the game of horse shoes could be considered a sport, then Cornhole definitely has a chance.  The option of knocking an opponents bag off the plank gives the game a 'shuffleboardesque' quality, a feature that horse shoes lacks despite the two games' similarities. 
Realistically, let's face it, Cornhole will never make it into the Olympics.  At best, a cornhole tournament might one day get televised at 3 AM on one of the more obscure ESPN channels with sponsorship from Lunesta. I highly doubt that at anytime soon people will be discussing the 'Michael Jordan era' of Cornhole; most of the world is still trying to wrap it's head around curling, and has little time for anything more trivial.
 

What is Snooker?

Okay, I'm actually on the fence about this one. Snooker is a billiards game played on a larger table than pool, but with smaller balls and smaller pockets and more rules. I'll spare you the extened rules, but you can go to http://www.worldsnooker.com/ for more information. The big question I know you're really asking is: "But is it a sport?!"

Dunno. On the face of it, I would normally say no, but that's mostly applying my knowledge about pool. I kind of have a prejudice whereby games that can be played in bars by drunk people can't be all that demanding. But snooker is different. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather stick needles in my eyes than watch it, but there's a decent sized population that not only watch it on TV but go as spectators, where nobody's allowed to talk. Intense stuff.

The guys that play snooker definitely have skill, and these tournaments go on forever (I mean FOREVER), so they have to have some level of endurance. But is it a sport? Hmmmm.....I just don't know.